The Criterion Theatre


Open Reading - Join us for the reading of a new work by Rory Kelly 'Acute Accent'
In the Bar
27th January from 15:30 to 18:00
In the Bar
2nd February from 10:30 to 12:00
In the Bar
3rd February from 14:30 to 17:30
In the Bar
2nd March from 10:30 to 12:00
In the Bar
6th March from 20:00 to 21:00



The Children

“Retired people are like nuclear power stations. We like to live by the sea.”

Jan 26th to Feb 2nd 2019

A play by Lucy Kirkwood

Two retired nuclear scientists in an isolated cottage by the sea as the world around them crumbles.

Together they are going to live forever on yogurt and yoga, until an old friend arrives with a frightening request.

Lucy Kirkwood's play The Children premiered at the Royal Court, London, in the Jerwood Theatre Downstairs on 17 November 2016, in a production directed by James Macdonald with the Criterion's patron Ron Cook playing the part of Robin.

The Children was named Best Play at the 2018 Writers' Guild Awards.

This amateur production of "The Children" by Lucy Kirkwood is presented by arrangement with Nick Hern Books. 

Press Quotes

'Sly, gripping, darkly funny… this is sci-fi kitted out with real people, real dilemmas, real scope. It’s really good'

The Times

'A richly suggestive and beautifully written piece of work, provoking questions that will continue to nag and expand in your mind… the genius of the play is to embed its pressingly topical preoccupations in a humane, tragicomic scenario that is never, despite the circumstances, portentous or clangingly apocalyptic in tone… The Children consolidates my view that Kirkwood is the most rewarding dramatist of her generation'


'Grips compulsively... genuinely disturbing... leaves you an abundance of ideas on which to ruminate'


The Criterion's Production will be directed by Brian Emeney.  

For more information about this production please contact Brian or the Artistic Director via the email address


There will be smoking on stage under The Smoke Free (Exemptions and Vehicles) Regulations 2007.

Coming Soon

Florian Zeller. Translated by Christopher Hampton.
Main House
Mar 16th to 23rd
William Shakespeare
Main House
May 11th to 18th
E. Nesbit adapted for the stage by Mike Kenny
Main House
Oct 12th to 19th
Joe Landry
Main House
Nov 30th to Dec 7th

Just Finished

Alan Bennett (adapted from the novel by Kenneth Grahame)
Main House
Dec 1st to 8th